- I got on Instagram, and Holy Toledo, I love it. It makes me want to say things like BOMB DOT COM (and Holy Toledo). But it totally fills all my over-sharing cravings, so I have nothing left for you guys.
- It's summer, which means go, go, go and play, play, play, and I'm still busy trying to figure out how to dress myself without cardigans.
- Bear Cave Studios is in full swing and it's awesome and all-consuming and REAL. Sometimes the Internet can't compete with adorable, talented children who make incredible art. I've found that I can't always live real life AND take pictures of it and write about it. A lot of people can, and I'm glad their blogs are around while mine sleeps, but they are probably getting paid more than I am (ie, anything at all). But this is a part of my life that is definitely worth sharing, so expect a photo-ful post about those goings on soon.
- Having two kids is totally kicking me to the curb.
That brings me to something I've been meaning to talk to you all about...maybe the underlying reason for all my lack of productivity. It's not about design or anything pretty, but sometimes blogs are just about putting your problems out there to help someone else feel better about themselves.
Bedtime is wearing us down.
It doesn't matter how lovely a day might be. My daughter could be an angel who helps and obeys and loves while the sun is up, but when it's time to go to sleep she turns into a whirling dervish who screams and cries and throws toys...or giggles and sneaks and refuses to stay in bed. Many nights, I cry. Sometimes I yell. Eventually she succumbs to slumber, and we wonder aloud how to make it better, what else to try, how to make it not take hours to get her to sleep.
Nothing ever works.
It has been over a year since her routine stopped working.
I fear the end of the day.
We are tired. SHE is tired.
Tonight--after I had reached my limit and didn't trust myself to be loving anymore--my husband took her downstairs to the guest room to talk. She talked about the pictures on the walls and what we are doing tomorrow and what is your favorite chair? and on and on, but when he got her to focus and talk to him about why bedtime is so hard for her, she told him. She told him about her spinning head.
"And Daddy?" she said, "I can't turn it off."
Eureka.
She is just. like. me.
I really think kids melatonin would be perfect for her. It's natural & it will help her turn it off!
ReplyDeleteSeriously - give it a try.
i've thought about it, but there just isn't a lot of research on its use with kids yet, and i'm a paranoid crazy person. :) I just hope I can figure out some sort of routine or system that helps her wind down...something she can use for the rest of her life. because i never learned to fall asleep, and i still have trouble!
DeleteI can't tell you how many times I could have (can still?) right this post. My 6 year old was the same way at 2 and 3. I wondered and worried and tried pretty much everything in the book. And the only thing that worked consistently was lying next to her in bed until she fell asleep. This wasn't ideal, but at 10 o'clock when we are all exhausted it was worth it. When she was 4 and a half and I finally separated her and Jack she started doing better. Most nights she does fine, but we still have nights where she won't go to sleep. I wish I could say I had answers, but I don't. Mostly, I have to say: I hate bedtime.
ReplyDeletei WISH she would let me lay down with her! she won't even settle enough for that, most nights. i hate bedtime too!
DeleteDang, I didn't proof read. I meant "write" not "right."
ReplyDeleteI love you guys. A million.
ReplyDeleteditto. a million BILLION>
Deletewell you summed up EXACTLY why I haven't been posting either! (except the bear caves studio part of course). I need to just link to your blog:) And we are having the same hard time with bedtime and it turns me into this horrible horrible mother. It was the worst when franc was gone for a month and it was just ME trying to get her in bed everynight. I did and said things that I am not proud of, and I am so greatful he is back to help with that part of the night. But it is most rustrating because that is supposed to be MY time. and when MY time doesn't start until 10 pm? well I've lost motivation to do anything at all. I feel you.
ReplyDeleteoh being alone is the worst...makes it a million times harder. i cry a lot more at bedtime when simon works late. i used to be able to work till late, but having two kids just leaves me so wiped out at the end of the day, so i get nothing done. grr.
DeleteOh boy. I feel you.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a blessing and curse to have a child with lots of similarities to you. I totally struggle with schedules and routines and so does Avery, and I'm the one who is supposed to help her have those things in her life!
I think bedtime is one of those things people love to give advice about but when it comes down to it most kids go through phases where it's a struggle. And summer is extra hard!
Here's my advice-- swimming lessons. My kids are exhausted by them and can't keep their eyes open after 8:00 on the days they go. It's rad.
that's what is so frustrating! she needs the same things i need, but i've never been good at structuring my own life the way i should.
Deletei've welcomed everyone's advice about bedtime...and read every book. but not a single thing has worked...it's quite remarkable, really. and even swimming doesn't do it. she's amazing that way. we just aren't wired the same as most people, her and i. :) i remember in college staying up late even the night after pulling all-nighters. ridiculous!
Hugs to you! Hope you can help her turn it off. My little girl is refusing naps and cries/whines/screams for the rest of the day until we announce it's bedtime and she's a perfect, sweet, funny angel. It drives me crazy.
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteHoly cow, she's just like me, too. I can remember lying in my bed, at age 7, staring at my clock WAAAAAAAAY after everyone else was asleep. Ye olde hamster was just indefatigable.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that helped me was having my grandmother teach me how to meditate when I was 12 or so. She could see that I had trouble (I was an anxious/stressed out kid) and she asked me one day how I was sleeping. Naturally, I told her that I hated it, so she had me lie down on her bed, put in a cassette (ha! remember those?) of ocean sounds and she taught me how to breathe in and out slowly and rhythmically. I remember her telling me to picture the sun in a bright sky and to just "stare" at it in my mind until my body went to sleep. It didn't always work, but it made me feel better about my insomnia. To this day (21 or so years later), I still do that when I'm stressed out and it never fails me.
Your little one might be a little young to use that info, but you never know. It's a pretty simple concept.
i think this is exactly the sort of thing she needs. i have a brother-in-law who is the same way, and he juggles before bed...it helps him wind down. i need to find something repetitive and age-appropriate for her to do at night.....something to get her calm enough to even listen to a relaxing tape! i do really like the idea of visualizing the sun. i bet she could handle that. ever since college, my method has been to just stay up so late that i can't physically stay awake any longer. then i stay awake anyway until i crash. obviously, it's an awful way to go through life, and i want to find a better system for her.
ReplyDeleteI've missed you! It sounds like you've been super busy...and very tired. I have no advice about the sleeping, but I do hope something changes for you all soon x
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ReplyDeleteOh my goodness this is the sweetest thing I've ever read, the poor thing, struggling to understand her own mind and all the thoughts going on in it. I always love to read your posts; you have a way of putting things and a way of noticing the world in an inspiring way.
ReplyDeleteOh man! Bedtime is hard!! Definitely the hardest part of our days, too.
ReplyDeleteMy go-to moves on sleepless nights are writing (about whatever it is running through my mind. If it's on paper, it doesn't have to be in my brain :) and sleep-inducing yoga poses (http://blog.gaiam.com/blog/6-yoga-poses-for-insomnia/
Good luck! I hope you find a routine that helps you and your daughter soon.
Up until 9 years old I went to bed while the sun was still out. 7 pm on hot summer nights. It sucked! BUT what helped me was all the disney books on tape that i listened to over and over again till I fell asleep...sometimes with the books and sometimes without. :/ hope it gets better...
ReplyDeletethat's a really great idea. i'll have to look for some calm stories on tape. i think that will get her attention enough to get her to be still long enough for her to fall asleep.
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